Before You Say “I Do”

We’ve pretty much mastered most of the tips that can help you prepare for the “big day”, but we haven’t discussed important steps every modern couple should take before committing to a lifetime together. Before you choose to spend your life with someone, you should get a taste of that life and commit to it completely disillusioned.

Sounds a bit ridiculous, but believe it or not, there are still couples who rush into things and leap without looking first. As a newlywed myself, I’ve had a lot of people ask me the ultimate cliche question I very much dread: “So, how’s the married life? Has everything changed now?” Luckily, my answer is always the same: “No, nothing has changed, but it keeps getting better”.

Usually my answer, although completely honest, brings a lovely color to people’s faces – disbelief. Apparently, a lot of married couples turn their lives around once they say “I do” and go through an adjustment period that’s not all roses and unicorns. I did a bit of investigation, asking questions myself, and concluded that most of these couples who end up surprised once they start a life together are the ones who have skipped a few crucial steps that can save you a lot of headaches in the future.

Be Yourself

Don’t try to be someone you’re not just to impress your partner. Remember, you’re doing this out of fear, not love. By misrepresenting yourself you’re misleading the person who is falling in love with you. If you get the feeling that this relationship could be it for you, show your true colors. It’s no joke having to play a part your whole life just to make someone happy. If they don’t love you for who you are from the beginning, they probably never will and that’s no way to live.


Live Together

Before you set any dates, write any vows and look at dresses and lace, for God’s sake, please, live together. A girl told me recently that she only got used to her husband’s weird habits after two years of marriage and is learning to accept them. This is what happens when couples don’t live together before saying “I do”, and frankly, you wouldn’t believe how often that is still the case even nowadays. Playing bride and groom for a day does not guarantee a lifetime of happiness. Start your life before you make it official. You need to get comfortable with each other. You need to see if moving in brings you closer or tears you apart. Committing to forever without knowing how someone eats, sleeps, breathes and farts, (pardon my French), can’t be promising.

living together

Meet the Family

This sounds like a background check, but it’s important. Don’t meet each other’s families a couple of weeks before the wedding, or even worse on the wedding day. You should get a sense of your partner’s roots and upbringing. You might discover that you come from very different families with very different values. You have to see whether you can live with that or not. If you discover that you can never be on the same page, think long and hard before you decide to go though with anything major.

Get to know your mother-in-law before the big day. No one likes surprises 🙂 (

Grow & Change

Marriage should not rob you of who you are and change you to fit the other person’s idea of how life should be led. Sure there will be sacrifice, compromise and circumstances you won’t be able to change, but the bottom line is that you should be able to grow and change within the marital and everyday routine. Marriage is just the legal name for relationship, it’s not prison. If you grew as a person and changed for the better while just dating, this should only intensify once you get married. Otherwise what’s the point anyway?

Grow old together & change for the better

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About Author: Masa


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